From Luxury to Lifestyle: The Sociological Evolution of Having a Nanny

Once seen as a marker of elite privilege, having a nanny has undergone a profound sociological shift. What was once a status symbol - something whispered among the well-heeled - has become a normalised part of family life for many working parents. But with that normalisation comes a new dynamic; modern families increasingly expect nannies to offer not just childcare, but something “extra.” And as this expectation grows, it raises an important question…is that fair?

A Brief Look Back

Historically, nannies were associated with upper-class households, often living in and assuming near-parental roles within a strict domestic hierarchy. Over time, particularly with more women entering the workforce from the 1970s onward, the role of a nanny shifted to meet the needs of dual-income households. The 21st century brought even more change, with childcare evolving to reflect a society that values both career progression and intentional parenting.

Today, having a nanny is no longer confined to wealth or status. It’s a practical and sometimes essential choice for families navigating the demands of modern life.

The Changing Narrative

As nannies have become more commonplace, the perception of their role has also changed. Rather than being viewed as a luxury, a nanny is often seen as a necessity - and that’s not a negative. It reflects the reality of work-life balance, the cost of living and the need for reliable, personalised childcare.

However, this cultural shift has created a new set of expectations; families now seek more than just care. They want added value, educational input, developmental expertise, household management skills, flexibility to travel and even emotional support for the entire family.

While many professional nannies bring these qualities naturally, the assumption that these “extras” are part of the standard offering can be problematic, especially when they’re expected without recognition, appropriate compensation or consideration of boundaries.

The Impact on Nannies

This expectation of “value-add” can place unfair pressure on caregivers. The emotional labour, the blurred lines between home and work and the increasing responsibilities that fall outside of traditional childcare can lead to burnout or dissatisfaction.

It also risks diminishing the core of the nanny’s role: to nurture, guide and support a child’s wellbeing. When families chase more - more qualifications, more duties, more flexibility - they sometimes overlook the quiet, consistent and profound impact that a dedicated nanny already brings to a child’s life.

Where Do Agencies Fit In?

This is where a thoughtful modern nanny agency (like Dovetail Nannies) plays a vital role. We help both families and nannies navigate expectations fairly and transparently. We recognise the importance of added value but we also champion professional boundaries, realistic workloads and mutual respect.

At Dovetail, we match families with nannies who don’t just tick boxes but who bring genuine warmth, skill and a deep commitment to child development. We also work to ensure that the nanny’s role remains sustainable, respected and properly defined.

A New Understanding

Perhaps what’s needed is a societal reframe. Instead of viewing the nanny as someone who needs to “do more” to justify her place, we should see the evolving nanny role as reflective of our evolving world, one where care work is essential, skilled and deeply valuable in its own right.

Let’s continue to elevate the conversation, not by expecting more but by appreciating more.